Saturday, April 23, 2016

New Review! The Legend of Arturo King by LB Dunbar, 4 Cranky Stars

The Return of the Prodigal Son
The Cranky gossip columnists have a scoop for you! 

Arturo King, the front man for the band The Nights, and carrying more baggage than Donald Trump’s hairdresser, is playing at the place where it all started.  That’s right:  The Round Table.

King, the legendary womanizer and secret love child of Ingrid Tintagel and Locke Uther, stands to inherit the multi-billion dollar label of Camelot Records.  Here’s hoping he can keep his shareholders as happy as he does the ladies!

Rumor has it!

Well… it appears the scandalous rogue, Arturo King, has a new lover: none other than Guinevere DeGrance, daughter of Leo DeGrance.  

Yes, that Leo DeGrance:  King’s mentor and sponsor.  It’s a bit “Flowers in the Attic” or “Game of Thrones”, but hey!  No judgments.  

Guinie is a cello-playing novice, who missed out on a place with the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra.  I guess Daddy’s strings only stretch so far.  We’re sure, however, that rock’s most eligible bachelor will be a good consolation prize.  

How serious is serious you ask?  Put away your lipstick, ladies.  Rumor has it, Arturo has already taken her to meet his family at his luxurious hideaway:  Avalon.

It’s love!
It seems the King has found his Queen.  Arturo King and Guinevere DeGrance go from strength to strength.  Questions are being asked about the speed of this relationship, but no one can deny it’s a supernova!  

Still, we are wondering how King will cope with rumors of a former liaison between his sweetheart and band mate, Lansing.  

We all know Arturo doesn’t like to come second.  Actually, according to many women he does, but that’s a whole different conversation.

That was unexpected!

Scandal!  Big scandal!  This is more exciting than Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner’s entire marriage, Charlie Sheen’s drunk-tweets, and anything ‘desperate for attention’ Madonna has done in the last decade.  Guinevere DeGrance got into some trouble at a nightclub and ended up going home with one of Arturo’s biggest rivals.  

Word is, the rock star is furious, but the big scoop?  It wasn’t King that recaptured his damsel in distress, but former “we’re just good friends”, Lansing.

What just happened?
Now, this is something you can stick your sword into!

Unconfirmed, but sources close to Arturo King are saying he’s been in an accident.  From the Strange Files, the rock star has disappeared and so has his long-term advisor, Mure Linn.

Sources are also whispering about the fate of Camelot Records, betrayals, unconventional family relationships, secret love children, and problems in King’s relationship with Guinevere DeGrance.

All we can say is if King and Mure Linn have conjured up a disappearing act, then the award for ‘drastic measures in a break up’ goes to King.

Watch this space.  The story continues.

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