Cranky - The Book Curmudgeon: May 2017

New Review! Still Life by A.M. Johnson, 5 Cranky Stars

Still Life by A.M. Johnson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**** 4.5 Cranky Stars ****

Still Life was AM Johnson's first book and she has come a long way since then. I did truly enjoy this book and the story of Sawyer and Elizabeth.

Elizabeth was dealt a heavy blow at the age of 10. Her life would never be the same. She starts her new normal with Todd and his family. Here we see her in the present living her life with singing in a band. She's plagued by nightmares daily.

Sawyer has a traumatic childhood. While being the child to affluent parents his life was anything but special. His dad was Satan reincarnated and his mom just took it. Sawyer is home after his stint as a Navy Seal and is trying to acclimate into civilian life.

This book was full of heartache and trauma. The love between Sawyer and Elizabeth started kind of co dependant at first then blossomed into so much more. This book had many ups and downs. AM Johnson has since come a long way but her ever present heart gripping style is here in this book. I can't wait to read the rest of this series.

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New Review! Bonecaller by Logan Keys, 5 Cranky Stars

Bonecaller: Book One by Logan Keys
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

***** 5 Cranky Stars *****

This is a great start to a fantasy series: witches and wizards, pirates and dragons. It reminds me of the fantasy films of my childhood, such as The Neverending Story and the Princess Bride.

In a world on the brink of war, two groups are unwittingly caught in the midst of upheaval.

Raven steals an illegal magic little knowing that an evil wizard is searching for it. Together with her friend, Sim, Raven is being held hostage by a powerful witch with secrets of her own.

On the other side: John harbors a family secret that haunts him. He has no memory of what happened in his past, but he's been running from it since he was a child and trying to find answers. Wary of being dragged into a war with wizards, the pirate collides with a witch - a witch wanted by the Dark Wizard.

As the two groups' storylines converge, they realize they can help each other and not just in terms of saving their lives, but working out who they are.

All in all, this was a great romp of a read and I'm looking forward to the next one. If you like fantasy, I recommend you pick this one up now and it could be read by people of all ages.

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New Review! Ruckus by L.J. Shen, 4.5 Cranky Stars

Ruckus by L.J. Shen
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

**** 4.5 Cranky Stars ****

Dean "Ruckus" Cole is a rude and brash womanizer. He's a functioning alcoholic and drug user. He is all the things you shouldn't want in a man yet underneath all that front he puts on he actually has a big heart and a secret hobby. Dean is one of the HotHoles (still can't like that word) who runs the New York office. When he learns his one true love Rose LeBlanc is in the same city he sets out to win her over. The bonus is that they run in the same circles and live in the same building he owns.

Rose LeBlanc is the sick girl. She is no wilting flower and never wants to be babied or sheltered. She lives her life to it's full advantage and that sparks something inside Dean Cole. Rosie has always loved Ruckus even when he dated her sister but ever since that moment she swore him off and loved him from a distance. Ironically Ruckus is now her landlord and they have to cross paths in the hallway. The end up together in Todos Santos for a HotHole wedding so what could possibly go wrong?

I liked that underneath his facade of playboy billionaire he actually had a heart and wanted to give Rosie the world. Rosie seriously at times needed to slow herself down but I loved that she grabbed life by the horns and went with it. She was going to ride this ride called life to the fullest extent. Ruckus had so many dark secrets I was honestly for the whole book convinced I knew that secret until the bomb was dropped.

Thank you L.J. Shen for not making me full on cry. This is an awesome series and I wonder who is going to be next.

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Cover Reveal! Graffiti City: A License to Jizz by Thor Cox

PRE-ORDER NOW
99 CENTS

Release Date: 06/06/2017

Cover Designer: Concierge Literary Designs & Photography, LLC

Publisher: Howling Mad Press

Graffiti City: Cummageddon
Issue 1
A LICENSE TO JIZZ

Suzy Suxxx takes both of her jobs very seriously. As one of the hottest porn stars in Graffiti City, she keeps the adult citizens happy with her gravity-defying moves on the set. As a secret Sexual Liberation Underground Taskforce (S.L.U.T.) agent, codenamed Starfish, she keeps innocents safe.

The supervillain business has been booming lately. With a recent spike in activity from the evil Legion of Absolute Domination (L.O.A.D.), Suzy is up to her eyeballs in boy-joy juice to keep her unique superpower flowing. Quite frankly, it's exhausting.

After being on call 24/7 for weeks, all she wants is a damn night off.

But things are looking up when a religious hunk of a villain appears at the scene of a crime she's investigating. Not only does Celibator's puritanical innocence threaten to bring Suzy to her knees, but he could also help her hook the biggest bottom-dweller in the L.O.A.D. pond: the Jacker. Rumor has it, the Jacker has his sights on purloining Abraham's Testicles.

As in, THE Abraham. From the Bible.

If L.O.A.D. gets their greasy hands on this powerful magical artifact, it could mark the beginning of an unholy war against humanity, fought with sexual weapons of mass destruction.

A superhero's work is never done, and there are no nights off.

Griffin City is screwed, motherfuckers. Long live Graffiti City.

Be on the lookout for the next books in the series

The Spy Who Jizzed Me

Thunderjizz

Live and Let Jizz

Jizzraker

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

The man. The author. The god.

Thor Cox spends his days hunting frost giants in the land of ice and snow. When he’s not slaughtering jötnar, wrestling polar bears in the Svalbard, or carving magical runes from the bones of his enemies, he writes superhero porn.

If you’re interested in polar bears, narwhals, igloos, or Thor’s mighty hammer, sign up here for Thor’s newsletter.

Website: http://www.thorcox.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ThorCoxAuthor/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thorcox/

Join the Jizz Nation: http://eepurl.com/cF0u3f

Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/Thor-Cox/e/B0716JYJRD

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/ThorCox

Release Blitz! Ruckus by LJ Shen

Title: Ruckus

Series: Sinners of Saint #2

Author: L.J. Shen

Genre: Contemporary Romance

Release Date: May 26, 2017

Rosie

They say that life is a beautiful lie and death a painful truth. They're right.

No one has ever made me feel more alive than the guy who serves as a constant reminder that my clock is ticking.

He is my forbidden, shiny apple.

The striking fallacy to my blunt, raw, truth.

He is also my sister's ex-boyfriend.

One thing you should know before you judge me;

I saw him first. I craved him first. I loved him first.

Eleven years later, he waltzed into my life, demanding a second chance.

Dean Cole wants to be my bronze horseman. My white knight has finally arrived. Hopefully, he isn’t too late.

Dean

They say the brightest stars burn out the fastest. They’re right.

She sets my mind on fire.

All smart mouth, snarky attitude and a huge heart.

In a world where everything is dull, she shines like fucking Sirius.

Eleven years ago, fate tore us apart.

This time, I fucking dare it to try.

Getting to her is a battlefield, but man, that’s why they call me Ruckus.

Rosie LeBlanc is about to find out how hard I can fight.

And conquering her will be the sweetest victory.

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L.J. Shen resides in sunny California with her husband, son, chubby cat and wild, wild dreams. Her passion is to write badass stories, sushi, UFC and her awesome family and friends (not in this order, though. Obviously, sushi comes before writing. Oh, and also the family part.) She spend the first half of her twenties traveling the world and is now paying all the fun with extra shifts in front of her MacBook. Feel free to contact her on her Facebook page. She loves to hear from her readers.